During my pre-teen years I began feeling like I was not special, especially when I was left out of anything I thought was important for me to be a part of. Everyone else in my age group was selected to sing on the junior choir at the church I attended, but not me. Some got promoted to the senior choir and when I would think there's room for me I still didn't get picked. I was thinking it was maybe because I was so small in stature. It also bothered me that I didn't have a father. Fathers day made this even worse. When I was in high school and didn't pass any of the science subjects to determine my career path, a heavier burden set in. I remember thinking, there's one thing I never want to fail at and that is getting to heaven. God was listening.
I remember having this great desire to learn more about the Lord. The place to do this to me was reading the bible. I read and reread and while I read, certain scriptures would cause me to pause and think about what I was reading. This went on for a while. I had a need to get to know the Lord for myself and not just what I would hear from any preacher. My favorite part of going to church was to hear the word of God, I never got bored as young as I was. The singing and worshipping was good but I had an interest in what God was saying to me. I still didn't get saved until years later, there was some things about how worshipping was done where I attended church that didn't sit well.
I migrated, got saved, got married and now come to realize that during those years I didn't really have a relationship with the Lord. I didn't know Him as I should but He knew me. I remember praising and thanking God continuously during a time when I was not even living for him. As soon as I heard someone say God is good, I would quickly add, "His mercy is everlasting and His truth endureth to all generations." This went on for quite some time and still I was not living as I should. During this period also, I could not stop singing the hymn "Be not dismayed what'er be tide, God will take care of you. Beneath His wings of love abide, God will take care of you," It was as if there was no control over me singing those words. It was ongoing every day. I also had this dream and in it there was a messenger speaking as though God was speaking to me. "I have seen your tears he said'.
I had no clue that a storm was brewing and that prayers that I didn't even pray yet were being answered. This is not the usual course of things in life. I was of the impression that, we pray for the problems we face and wait patiently on God to answer. This entire situation went in the opposite direction because the last thing that happened was me finding out about my troubles. Troubles that ended with my husband dying of AIDS but me being the recipient of God's amazing grace and mercy simultaneously. Crying, mourning, miracle, mercy all happening at the same time. I was spared.
Mark 10:27
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”
Fast forward to a couple of months ago when a preliminary scan of my neck revealed that I had a clogged artery. Not only was it clogged, my cardiologist was explaining to me that it had a kink in it. He told me he was concerned because I could have a stroke as the blockage means that blood flow to the brain was affected. He told me he ordered two CT scans with dye. One to see how much blockage is in the neck and the other to see if there was any in my heart and lung area. I am a firm believer that not even a clogged artery is too much for the God I serve. The first prayer request I sent out was that worry would stay as far as the east is from the west. A believer should not be overwhelmed with worry.
My CAT scans were scheduled and on the day I was preparing to get them done, I received a phone call that the machine broke down. This to me meant I had more time to pray and to get prayed up by my fellow believers in Christ. Wherever The Lord was taking me, I knew He would be with me.
The scans were eventually done and a day later the first results came in. These results I could see before hearing from the cardiologist. This was for the heart and lungs. The calcium score is zero and there are no other significant cardiac findings. Thank God for His mercies. As I waited for the results of the neck to come in, I was declaring to myself how great God is and there is nothing He cannot do. I was led to write my previous post about how real Jesus is and to do so before and regardless of the following results because His greatness is not determined by whatever results I hear.
Whatever is happening in my neck is minimal and not significant. All glory honour and praise be unto the Lord, for His mercies are new every day. While the doctor was looking for how much percentage of blockage exists, The Lord was determining the results. The common Carotid Artery is patent, meaning the blood vessel is open and unobstructed allowing normal blood flow.
I waited for a call to to set up an appointment to hear the official results but the call never came. After two weeks I decided to reach out and was told I would be contacted by the staff to set up an appointment so the doctor could go over the results with me. Another two weeks went by and still no call. I began to ponder about the possibility of the doctor being in disbelief with my results. Original scans showed a clogged artery with a kink and now CT scans to determine the percentage of the blockage is completely normal. I thought to myself, my cardiologist is Jewish and should understand a miracle because the same God who parted the red sea is the one who unclogged my artery.
Just so there's no doubt in anyone's mind, a sudden turn of my neck a week before the scans caused an interruption with the blood flow in that very artery. I also had twitching in my face a few times before that and also ended up in the emergency room because I was told I was having symptoms of a heart attack. Though I was having those symptoms all tests results came back favorable. To God be the glory. It was almost one month when I received an email that my results were posted by the doctor. They all read "The results of your recent tests are within normal limits." There is nothing impossible with God, nothing at all!
Whatever is minimal I leave in His hands as I continue to trust Him.
These are just two out of so many things the Lord has protected me from.
Psalms 107:29
He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed.
